Lifestyle // An Open Letter

18:58

I'll just come out and say it, you're a bitch. You're an even bigger pain in the ass than the guy on Tinder who just won't accept I don't want to "Netflix and Chill" (I'm more into Anime and scoffing my gob with never ending slices of pizza!) 

You're a physical and mental challenge for me. How is it possible that in an instant you can ruin things that mean so much to me? over the course of two years, you've managed to ruin a lot for me.. Do you even realise that? sometimes I find it hard to even do things on my own, it's a struggle to go out by myself, meet new people and recently even stupidly give me struggles to EAT actual food. You make me scared everyday, especially for the future. Scared to turn down fantastic opportunities, get into a relationship and even just to be myself. 

But you know what? in a way you've done something incredible, that I couldn't see until you came into my life. You've made me realise what a STRONG and BEAUTIFUL person I really am. You've tried to knock me down so many times and you most probably think you've succeeded... Right? ha, you couldn't be more wrong. Yes, I'll cry because it's hard, because I've ended up in hospital again just to be told "it's just anxiety" because at 20, I feel like I'm in a constant battle with you but just know, you will NEVER define me in any way, shape or form. 

I am beautiful, bubbly, funny, a daughter, a sister, a niece and a friend to amazing people who have helped me through so many issues you've caused and not to mention a compete and utter weirdo but these are the things I love most about myself.

I'll continue my therapy sessions and find ways around you trying to destroy me but just know I will NOT give up this fight. 







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